Hey babe,
I've been failing for awhile on typing these to you. Needless to say, a lot has been happening.over the past few months. However, I'm really excited about a new season beginning now. I've for sure talked to you about the covenant I had made back in 2009. Well, despite my not fulfilling the full bargain, God has provided. It's hilarious, I feel like I pulled an Israel. It was just a couple weeks ago that I had a series of circumstances, advice from friends, and prophetic word all come at me in a flurry
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Seriously, the articles I was reading on Boundless.org, Relevant magazine, and elsewhere had this thematic thing going of discussion about romance, dating, and even sometimes covenantal stuff. Aside from that, words from friends were ruminating in my head, such as Andrew Rhoades when he spoke of 1 Corinthians 7 and Paul's concession to marry: "lest you burn with passion." However, the craziness was the week of November 20th. That night, Paul Ort and I were chatting after I brought home a ton of food that was a gift from PFC. We chatted about a lot of things; however we ended up talking at one ponit about the covenant I had made. He was asking about my reasons for starting it, which led to me giving the full story. Yes, he'd already heard it before, however, he was asking due to an intuition he was having. I know Paul and I both get the gut feeling thing more often than not as a Spirit-led guiding, so I was apt to hear what he had to say. He felt like my time in the covenant was coming to an end. Which didn't make much sense to me, as it wasn't close to a year of purity yet. But that's just the beginning.
The next day my friend Jenni comes over, and she had told me the week before that she had a prophetic word for me. That word was two-fold. The first part was about church, and it's now time for me to wrestle with that aspect. However, the second part is relevant here: "you can't do it alone" in reference to this covenant and how it was ending. Tied in with that were the ideas of how it's okay to admit the need of a helpmate, ending this covenant is not quitting if God has already fulfilled his purpose for it, and how she would hope that you would be able to support me in everything. Tied to that thought o support was the addressing of my fear of if I were to fail you in the aspect of lust, and how if you're supportive then you're not going anywhere. (Keep in mind, there is NO WAY that I'm willing to just roll over and let you be hurt by this sin due to my own laziness or in taking you for granted. I want to serve you, my body is yours, and you're the love of my life)
So, I hear this, and I want to believe it, my gut instinct goes with it, and it sounds so appealing. However, I have a rut I feel stuck in. If you want, check out Ecclesiastes 5, Deuteronomy 23:21-23, and Numbers 30. These passages speak so strongly of how a covenant is to be kept. So, to me, I was given a prophetic word that seemed to clash with Scripture. I believed it, and I believed God was in this, but I was unwilling to move until God revealed Scripture to me that showed His heart on the matter. Honestly? I was 100% sure that this was truth AND that God would reveal Himself in this matter. And He did. Seriously, God is good. But I'll stay true to timeline here... so you have to wait to hear it. ;-)
Yes, I just tried to flirt with you in a letter I wrote before we were married. And I'll try to do it more often! Ha ha!
Anyways, from here we get to Saturday. I had mentioned what had happened to some friends of mine. I had also sent texts to all my close friends on Thanksgiving that were personalized. With some of them I had given a teaser of how I had some important stuff to talk to them about. One of those people was Jared. Jared, an awesome friend I take far too much for granted, has had some crazy experiences. I had talked with him about covenant stuff in the past. In fact, there were some crazy dream coincidences he and I both had. Well, anyways, I called him saturday and before I could bring up what was knew he said: "you need to talk to me about the covenant, right?" "....." "You know me, I always know more than I should." So, yeah.... everything seemed to be converging on this covenant closing, by God's hand and not by mine.
Since then, I've been in prayer, I've been given advice, I've been challenged in the way I relate to God. That last point's especially interesting. I don't relate to God as lover. Yet, that's the most used biblical analogy for our relationship with Him (according to awesome wise one Kathy Johnson, I'm in process of seeking that out). I'd been asking God to reveal Scripture to me that made this make sense, and had the gut/voice leading me towards Go Eat Pop Corn letters ... enter the Book of Galatians last night. Seriously, reading it in context of where I was? Quite touching, and awesome. I was in tears at times, I was laughing out loud at times, marvelling at God's handiwork and amazing love. just try reading it, if you don't where I'm going with all this. If you still don't follow, let's read it together. Sound good?
Ooh! As typing this Alton felt he had a revelation in prayer. About time management, interestingly. And now he is a good friend challenging me on the amount of time I would even have free to give towards approaching a relationship. And here's a truth, hon, I'm scared of screwing you over in my devotion to the church. I know QT is important, and I have difficulty giving it because I sacrifice my time constantly. So, back to the first part of that prophetic word from Jenni. It was about work and ministry at the church. "You can't do it alone." She was challenging me to slow down, find my niche and the niches for the volunteers, and step away before burn out occurs. That's what I'm workin on now, love. Preventing burning out, so that instead we can have an enduring flame for our relationship, our love.
Thinking of you a lot lately,
Your eventual hubby.
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